Hail to the Chiefs Part XV: How Low Can You Go?
Originally written June 30, 2010
In 2008, as the Bush administration was wrapping up, there was some speculation about what his ranking would be among the historians. Take a poll of my fellow lefties, and they'd probably make some snide comment about just how low his ranking would be. However, keep this in mind. At the end of the Bush administration, we had the same number of states we started with, not less. All federal property was in control of the federal government. And I think it's safe to say if a supply ship came to a naval base in the United States...they wouldn't have to worry about being fired on by fellow citizens.
James Buchanan has the misfortune of ranking pretty consistently dead last, or damn close to it. He's the American Nero. Nero fiddled while Rome burned...Buchanan diddled while the country fell apart. If you ever watch that History Channel program on the presidents (which tends to be playing a lot this time of year) you can't help but feel bad for the poor guy that has to try and defend Buchanan.
At this point, all the early life stories are starting to sound the same. James Buchanan was born in a...anyone? anyone? ....a LOG CABIN....in Cove Gap, Pennsylvania. He went to college and studied.....Oh now why do I only see all the same hands? Yes?
unamundamour ? That's right! He DID study law!
He was opposed to the War of 1812 on principle, but did enlist to defend Maryland when the British invaded that area. After that he was elected to.... That's rightmezzolibra ! First he was elected to the Pennsylvania House, and then the U.S. House of representatives. (Thank God Lincoln is coming up soon. You could almost make a drinking game out of these things!)
He served as Secretary of State under the Polk Administration...and was a bit of a drama queen. Speaking of queens....let's talk about his personal life!
James Buchanan is the only bachelor president in U.S. history. He's also rumored to be the only gay president we've had. He lived for 15 years with Alabama senator William Rufus King.....a man referred to as "Miss Nancy" and "Aunt Fancy" by Andrew Jackson. Aaron Brown referred to King and Buchanan as "Buchanan and his wife." It's also kind of suspicious that most of the correspondence between them was burned after their deaths. However this little tidbit remains from when King was appointed Minister to France. Buchanan wrote: "I am now 'solitary and alone' having no companion in the house with me. I have gone a wooing to several gentlemen, but have not succeeded with any one of them. I feel that it is not good for man to be alone and should not be astonished to find myself married to some old maid who can nurse me when I am sick, provide good dinners for me when I am well, and not expect from me any very ardent or romantic affection."
However, keep in mind...this was the 19th century. The way most men wrote to one another sounds pretty gay to a 21st century ear. His niece Harriet Lane did the first lady hostess duties.
Anyway....after the Polk administration Buchanan first spent some time in the private sector, and then was a Minister to the Court of St. James in England. At this time he wrote the Ostend Manifesto suggesting that the United States buy Cuba from Spain so slavery could expand. The proposal was not received well, and caused more damage to the already less than stellar Pierce administration. (Incidentally, on some rankings, Pierce manages to rate below Buchanan. Check it out! en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Historical_ranking
Despite this blunder, he was the Democratic nominee for president in 1856. The logic being "Well he's in England! So he didn't vote for the Kansas-Nebraska act!" That same sort of logic also got us winners like Franklin Pierce. Buchanan would be the last Democrat president to be elected for 30 years. (Except for Andrew Johnson who became president after the death of Lincoln. And as you'll see...he's another one who competes with Buchanan for the lowest presidential ranking.)
The infamous Dred Scott Supreme Court decision happened on Buchanan's watch, saying that all American citizens were required to return fugitive slaves to their owners. Buchanan figured this would solve the whole problem of whether slavery should extend to the western territories an issue he saw as "a matter of little practical importance." Excuse me while I go bang my head against the wall for that last statement. Ladies and gentlemen I present to you...Dunderhead Number 4!
Another one of his less than brilliant moments was to veto a Bill from Congress to create more colleges because "there were already too many educated people." Um yeah buddy...and apparently you're not one of them!
The situation wasn't helped by the Panic of 1857 (that's 19th century speak for a recession.) Buchanan's administration started using deficit spending to pay the bills....which was actually probably one of the more progressive things he did. However unlike today, Democrats did not believe in deficit spending...and his reputation just kept sliding downhill.
Thankfully one of the few good decisions Buchanan made was to only serve only one term. A month after the election South Carolina seceded from the Union. Other than get rid of confederate sympathizers on his cabinet, the only action Buchanan took after South Carolina seceded was to send a supply ship to Fort Sumter...the supply ship was shot at and promptly sailed back.
Buchanan sat there and did absolutely nothing as 6 more states seceded and nearly all the federal property from those states were seized. His whole reaction reminds me of this scene from "Monty Python and the Holy Grail." The guard on the right....that's my idea of Buchanan. About as effective at guarding the castle as Buchanan was at protecting the United States.
On his last day in office, Buchanan remarked to Abraham Lincoln: "If you are as happy upon entering the White House as I shall feel upon returning to Wheatland, you are a happy man."
In 1866 Buchanan published his memoirs which defended his actions...or lack of them...in his administration predicting "History will vindicate my memory." Don't hold your breath, buddy. He died in 1868.
A century later...this sitcom was created that took place in Buchanan High School.
In 2008, as the Bush administration was wrapping up, there was some speculation about what his ranking would be among the historians. Take a poll of my fellow lefties, and they'd probably make some snide comment about just how low his ranking would be. However, keep this in mind. At the end of the Bush administration, we had the same number of states we started with, not less. All federal property was in control of the federal government. And I think it's safe to say if a supply ship came to a naval base in the United States...they wouldn't have to worry about being fired on by fellow citizens.
James Buchanan has the misfortune of ranking pretty consistently dead last, or damn close to it. He's the American Nero. Nero fiddled while Rome burned...Buchanan diddled while the country fell apart. If you ever watch that History Channel program on the presidents (which tends to be playing a lot this time of year) you can't help but feel bad for the poor guy that has to try and defend Buchanan.
At this point, all the early life stories are starting to sound the same. James Buchanan was born in a...anyone? anyone? ....a LOG CABIN....in Cove Gap, Pennsylvania. He went to college and studied.....Oh now why do I only see all the same hands? Yes?
unamundamour ? That's right! He DID study law!He was opposed to the War of 1812 on principle, but did enlist to defend Maryland when the British invaded that area. After that he was elected to.... That's right
mezzolibra ! First he was elected to the Pennsylvania House, and then the U.S. House of representatives. (Thank God Lincoln is coming up soon. You could almost make a drinking game out of these things!)He served as Secretary of State under the Polk Administration...and was a bit of a drama queen. Speaking of queens....let's talk about his personal life!
James Buchanan is the only bachelor president in U.S. history. He's also rumored to be the only gay president we've had. He lived for 15 years with Alabama senator William Rufus King.....a man referred to as "Miss Nancy" and "Aunt Fancy" by Andrew Jackson. Aaron Brown referred to King and Buchanan as "Buchanan and his wife." It's also kind of suspicious that most of the correspondence between them was burned after their deaths. However this little tidbit remains from when King was appointed Minister to France. Buchanan wrote: "I am now 'solitary and alone' having no companion in the house with me. I have gone a wooing to several gentlemen, but have not succeeded with any one of them. I feel that it is not good for man to be alone and should not be astonished to find myself married to some old maid who can nurse me when I am sick, provide good dinners for me when I am well, and not expect from me any very ardent or romantic affection."
However, keep in mind...this was the 19th century. The way most men wrote to one another sounds pretty gay to a 21st century ear. His niece Harriet Lane did the first lady hostess duties.
Anyway....after the Polk administration Buchanan first spent some time in the private sector, and then was a Minister to the Court of St. James in England. At this time he wrote the Ostend Manifesto suggesting that the United States buy Cuba from Spain so slavery could expand. The proposal was not received well, and caused more damage to the already less than stellar Pierce administration. (Incidentally, on some rankings, Pierce manages to rate below Buchanan. Check it out! en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Historical_ranking
Despite this blunder, he was the Democratic nominee for president in 1856. The logic being "Well he's in England! So he didn't vote for the Kansas-Nebraska act!" That same sort of logic also got us winners like Franklin Pierce. Buchanan would be the last Democrat president to be elected for 30 years. (Except for Andrew Johnson who became president after the death of Lincoln. And as you'll see...he's another one who competes with Buchanan for the lowest presidential ranking.)
The infamous Dred Scott Supreme Court decision happened on Buchanan's watch, saying that all American citizens were required to return fugitive slaves to their owners. Buchanan figured this would solve the whole problem of whether slavery should extend to the western territories an issue he saw as "a matter of little practical importance." Excuse me while I go bang my head against the wall for that last statement. Ladies and gentlemen I present to you...Dunderhead Number 4!
Another one of his less than brilliant moments was to veto a Bill from Congress to create more colleges because "there were already too many educated people." Um yeah buddy...and apparently you're not one of them!
The situation wasn't helped by the Panic of 1857 (that's 19th century speak for a recession.) Buchanan's administration started using deficit spending to pay the bills....which was actually probably one of the more progressive things he did. However unlike today, Democrats did not believe in deficit spending...and his reputation just kept sliding downhill.
Thankfully one of the few good decisions Buchanan made was to only serve only one term. A month after the election South Carolina seceded from the Union. Other than get rid of confederate sympathizers on his cabinet, the only action Buchanan took after South Carolina seceded was to send a supply ship to Fort Sumter...the supply ship was shot at and promptly sailed back.
Buchanan sat there and did absolutely nothing as 6 more states seceded and nearly all the federal property from those states were seized. His whole reaction reminds me of this scene from "Monty Python and the Holy Grail." The guard on the right....that's my idea of Buchanan. About as effective at guarding the castle as Buchanan was at protecting the United States.
On his last day in office, Buchanan remarked to Abraham Lincoln: "If you are as happy upon entering the White House as I shall feel upon returning to Wheatland, you are a happy man."
In 1866 Buchanan published his memoirs which defended his actions...or lack of them...in his administration predicting "History will vindicate my memory." Don't hold your breath, buddy. He died in 1868.
A century later...this sitcom was created that took place in Buchanan High School.