First Lovebirds: John and Abigail Adams
On Valentine's Day of 2011, a poll in this community chose John and Abigail Adams as the first couple who loved each other the most. It wasn't even close. The relationship of this couple has been considered y many historians to be a remarkable one, especially considering that, in an age when women were considered almost as chattels, John Adams treated his wife as an equal (at least as much as he was able to within the mores of the times). Abigail in turn was a strong, confident and intelligent adviser to her husband. They were spouses, partners and best friends, and in fact would address one another as "my dearest friend" or "dear partner" in some of their correspondence.
Abigail and John were third cousins and had known each other since they were children. In 1762, John accompanied his friend Richard Cranch to the home of Abigail's father, the Reverand William Smith. Cranch was engaged to Adams' older sister, Mary. According to his account, John was quickly attracted to the petite, shy, 17-year-old brunette Abigail. Cranch describes her as being "forever bent over some book" much to her father's consternation (who apparently considered this to be unladylike.) John Adams was pleasantly surprised to learn that Abigail knew so much about poetry, philosophy and politics, something unusual for a woman at the time.
When John asked William Smith for Abigail's hand in marriage, Smith approved of the match, but Abigail's mother didn't. She described the future second President as "a country lawyer whose manners still reeked of the farm." Abigail was strong-minded and eventually she got her mother to gave in. The couple were married on 25 October 1764, five days before John's 29th birthday, in the Smiths' home in Weymouth, Massachusetts. The bride's father performed the nuptials. After the reception, the couple drove off to a cottage that stood beside the one where John Adams had been born and raised. This became their first home. They moved to Boston in a series of rented homes before buying a large farm, "Peacefield," in 1787, while John Adams was Minister to Great Britain.
Abigail Adams gave birth to her first child nine months after her marriage. The couple had three sons and two daughters: Abigail "Nabby" Amelia Adams Smith born in 1765, John Quincy Adams born in 1767, Susanna Adams born in 1768 (who died in 1770), Charles Adams born in 1770, and Thomas Boylston Adams born in 1772.
This marriage is well documented through the couple's correspondence and other writings. Letters exchanged throughout John's political career suggest that his trust in Abigail's judgement was sincere. In the words of Adams' biograopher David McCullogh "She could quote poetry more readily than could John Adams." Their correspondence is indicative of their mutual emotional and intellectual respect. Perhaps some of the reason for this is because, in the words of one member of this community
direcorrector, "it helped that they spent half of their marriage apart!"
Their notion of equality and the forward thinking in their relationship is illustrated in one of the most famous of their letters, one written by Abigail to John when the Declaration of Independence was being composed. Centuries before such an idea would gain acceptance, Abigail Adams wrote to her husband proposing equality for women and perhaps even giving women the vote. She wrote to her husband:
"And by the way, in the new code of laws which I suppose it will be necessary for you to make, desire you will remember the ladies and be more generous and favorable to them than your ancestors. Do not put such unlimited power in the hands of husbands. Remember, all men would be tyrants if they could. If particular care and attention is not paid to the ladies, we are determined to foment a rebellion, and we will not hold ourselves bound by any laws in which we have no voice or representation."
Abigail would continue this theme in later correspondence to her husband. While some of this is written tongue-in-cheek, it is clear that this was an important issue to her. She later wrote:
"If we mean to have heroes, statesmen and philosophers, we should have learned women... The world perhaps would laugh at me, but you know I have a mind too enlarged and liberal to disregard the sentiment."
John Adams knew that his wife was not writing in jest. He would respond to her "your sentiments of the importance of education of women are exactly agreeable to my own."
The marriage lasted for 54 years. Abigail Adams died three days after their 54th wedding anniversary on October 28, 1818, of typhoid fever. She was two weeks shy of her 74th birthday. Her last words were said to be "Do not grieve, my friend, my dearest friend. I am ready to go. And John, it will not be long."
Happy Valentine's Day
potus_geeks!
Abigail and John were third cousins and had known each other since they were children. In 1762, John accompanied his friend Richard Cranch to the home of Abigail's father, the Reverand William Smith. Cranch was engaged to Adams' older sister, Mary. According to his account, John was quickly attracted to the petite, shy, 17-year-old brunette Abigail. Cranch describes her as being "forever bent over some book" much to her father's consternation (who apparently considered this to be unladylike.) John Adams was pleasantly surprised to learn that Abigail knew so much about poetry, philosophy and politics, something unusual for a woman at the time.
When John asked William Smith for Abigail's hand in marriage, Smith approved of the match, but Abigail's mother didn't. She described the future second President as "a country lawyer whose manners still reeked of the farm." Abigail was strong-minded and eventually she got her mother to gave in. The couple were married on 25 October 1764, five days before John's 29th birthday, in the Smiths' home in Weymouth, Massachusetts. The bride's father performed the nuptials. After the reception, the couple drove off to a cottage that stood beside the one where John Adams had been born and raised. This became their first home. They moved to Boston in a series of rented homes before buying a large farm, "Peacefield," in 1787, while John Adams was Minister to Great Britain.
Abigail Adams gave birth to her first child nine months after her marriage. The couple had three sons and two daughters: Abigail "Nabby" Amelia Adams Smith born in 1765, John Quincy Adams born in 1767, Susanna Adams born in 1768 (who died in 1770), Charles Adams born in 1770, and Thomas Boylston Adams born in 1772.
This marriage is well documented through the couple's correspondence and other writings. Letters exchanged throughout John's political career suggest that his trust in Abigail's judgement was sincere. In the words of Adams' biograopher David McCullogh "She could quote poetry more readily than could John Adams." Their correspondence is indicative of their mutual emotional and intellectual respect. Perhaps some of the reason for this is because, in the words of one member of this community
direcorrector, "it helped that they spent half of their marriage apart!"Their notion of equality and the forward thinking in their relationship is illustrated in one of the most famous of their letters, one written by Abigail to John when the Declaration of Independence was being composed. Centuries before such an idea would gain acceptance, Abigail Adams wrote to her husband proposing equality for women and perhaps even giving women the vote. She wrote to her husband:
"And by the way, in the new code of laws which I suppose it will be necessary for you to make, desire you will remember the ladies and be more generous and favorable to them than your ancestors. Do not put such unlimited power in the hands of husbands. Remember, all men would be tyrants if they could. If particular care and attention is not paid to the ladies, we are determined to foment a rebellion, and we will not hold ourselves bound by any laws in which we have no voice or representation."
Abigail would continue this theme in later correspondence to her husband. While some of this is written tongue-in-cheek, it is clear that this was an important issue to her. She later wrote:
"If we mean to have heroes, statesmen and philosophers, we should have learned women... The world perhaps would laugh at me, but you know I have a mind too enlarged and liberal to disregard the sentiment."
John Adams knew that his wife was not writing in jest. He would respond to her "your sentiments of the importance of education of women are exactly agreeable to my own."
The marriage lasted for 54 years. Abigail Adams died three days after their 54th wedding anniversary on October 28, 1818, of typhoid fever. She was two weeks shy of her 74th birthday. Her last words were said to be "Do not grieve, my friend, my dearest friend. I am ready to go. And John, it will not be long."
Happy Valentine's Day
potus_geeks!