Potus Geeks Poetry Corner: The 2020 Presidential Election
(With apologies to Ernest Lawrence Thayer}
The outlook wasn't brilliant for the incumbent on that day,
The polls were all for Biden and were stuck there without sway.
RCP gave Joe 320, Nate Silver gave him more;
If they were right, he'd soon be on the short end of the score.
Things had been looking well at first, but then came that damn plague.
It tanked the whole economy and made the future vague.
What once had looked like a sure thing, re-election without fail
Could all get flushed into the drink, thanks to balloting by mail.
So he sent out all his surrogates, to get voters off the fence.
Ivanka and Don Junior, Melania and Mike Pence.
Their orders were to win the vote, with full rigor and fuss;
Hold huge gigantic rallies, and if needed, swarm their bus!
From his basement Biden played it safe, in his quest for the President's cup
He told himself "Stay focused Joe, try not to screw this up!"
He pushed his aging body, as he went from town to town
To his critics he said "shut up man, I'm running against a clown!"
They canvassed all the swing states, at least a million times,
Every inch of Pennsylvania, even Michigan sometimes.
Their speeches vitriolic, and they hoped they would be quoted
Despite the fact that over ninety million had already voted.
The President said his opponent was the head of a crime family,
That Tony Bobolinski could help to prove this claim quite handily,
He blamed the crooked media, they really made him grouchy.
He blamed the courts and voter fraud, he even blamed Doc Fauci.
Joe Biden fought back, telling his crowds, "what's that clown been drinkin'
When he tells you that he's the best thing to happen for black folks since Abe Lincoln?"
Biden said he won't defund police, but would shell out for more trainers,
And said that everyone must wear a mask, to him that's such a no-brainer.
The rivals campaigned right up to the end, as best as each were able.
For a couple of septuagenarians, they left nothing on the table.
Then Tuesday came, the canvass spent, in swing states quite abundant
And now 'twas time to hand the show over to the network pundits.
Fox News, CNN, MSNBC and all the other news channels
Would fill the air with loud and biased gas-bag election panels.
Their discussion extremely heated, disagreements were terribly bitter,
Look away if you like your sanity, and please don't go on Twitter!
They talked for many hours, there was so much to be said,
By Axelrod and Tucker C, and the fly on Pence's head.
Fair and balanced was the motive that every network claimed,
They did so while the other side's candidate they defamed.
The whole world it was watching, and hoping and rootin'
Xi Jinping hoped for Biden, Trump's fanboy was Vladimir Putin.
Jon King had his map out showing every town and state,
As returns started pouring in and the evening grew quite late.
It was well after midnight, it was early the next day,
As we watched and we waited, for a winner on display.
And we'll probably be waiting when the snow the ground it coats,
While the counting's taking place for all those mail-in votes.
And even after that is done, I sadly must report,
There still may be more arguing inside the Supreme Court.
Where nine learned justices, an outcome they must ferret,
Including two rookies on the case named Kavanaugh and Barrett.
Oh somewhere in this favored land, the sun is shining bright.
Somewhere the kids are playing, as they keep their masks on tight.
And somewhere restful sleep is found, beneath God's great protection,
But the counting of ballots forever endures,
As we wonder, "who won the election?"
The outlook wasn't brilliant for the incumbent on that day,
The polls were all for Biden and were stuck there without sway.
RCP gave Joe 320, Nate Silver gave him more;
If they were right, he'd soon be on the short end of the score.
Things had been looking well at first, but then came that damn plague.
It tanked the whole economy and made the future vague.
What once had looked like a sure thing, re-election without fail
Could all get flushed into the drink, thanks to balloting by mail.
So he sent out all his surrogates, to get voters off the fence.
Ivanka and Don Junior, Melania and Mike Pence.
Their orders were to win the vote, with full rigor and fuss;
Hold huge gigantic rallies, and if needed, swarm their bus!
From his basement Biden played it safe, in his quest for the President's cup
He told himself "Stay focused Joe, try not to screw this up!"
He pushed his aging body, as he went from town to town
To his critics he said "shut up man, I'm running against a clown!"
They canvassed all the swing states, at least a million times,
Every inch of Pennsylvania, even Michigan sometimes.
Their speeches vitriolic, and they hoped they would be quoted
Despite the fact that over ninety million had already voted.
The President said his opponent was the head of a crime family,
That Tony Bobolinski could help to prove this claim quite handily,
He blamed the crooked media, they really made him grouchy.
He blamed the courts and voter fraud, he even blamed Doc Fauci.
Joe Biden fought back, telling his crowds, "what's that clown been drinkin'
When he tells you that he's the best thing to happen for black folks since Abe Lincoln?"
Biden said he won't defund police, but would shell out for more trainers,
And said that everyone must wear a mask, to him that's such a no-brainer.
The rivals campaigned right up to the end, as best as each were able.
For a couple of septuagenarians, they left nothing on the table.
Then Tuesday came, the canvass spent, in swing states quite abundant
And now 'twas time to hand the show over to the network pundits.
Fox News, CNN, MSNBC and all the other news channels
Would fill the air with loud and biased gas-bag election panels.
Their discussion extremely heated, disagreements were terribly bitter,
Look away if you like your sanity, and please don't go on Twitter!
They talked for many hours, there was so much to be said,
By Axelrod and Tucker C, and the fly on Pence's head.
Fair and balanced was the motive that every network claimed,
They did so while the other side's candidate they defamed.
The whole world it was watching, and hoping and rootin'
Xi Jinping hoped for Biden, Trump's fanboy was Vladimir Putin.
Jon King had his map out showing every town and state,
As returns started pouring in and the evening grew quite late.
It was well after midnight, it was early the next day,
As we watched and we waited, for a winner on display.
And we'll probably be waiting when the snow the ground it coats,
While the counting's taking place for all those mail-in votes.
And even after that is done, I sadly must report,
There still may be more arguing inside the Supreme Court.
Where nine learned justices, an outcome they must ferret,
Including two rookies on the case named Kavanaugh and Barrett.
Oh somewhere in this favored land, the sun is shining bright.
Somewhere the kids are playing, as they keep their masks on tight.
And somewhere restful sleep is found, beneath God's great protection,
But the counting of ballots forever endures,
As we wonder, "who won the election?"